God made everything. That statement may seem like just some more rhetoric, but it is a very significant truth. All that exists, all that we see or experience, is there only because He created it to be that way. He had a purpose and a design in His creation and it works properly only when it functions within His plan. Marriage is part of His plan, and families and society as a whole will survive and thrive only as we follow His design.
Therefore shall a man leave his father and his mother, and shall cleave unto his wife: and they shall be one flesh. Genesis 2:24
When a man hath taken a wife, and married her, and it come to pass that she find no favour in his eyes, because he hath found some uncleanness in her: then let him write her a bill of divorcement, and give it in her hand, and send her out of his house. And when she is departed out of his house, she may go and be another man’s wife. And if the latter husband hate her, and write her a bill of divorcement, and giveth it in her hand, and sendeth her out of his house; or if the latter husband die, which took her to be his wife; Her former husband, which sent her away, may not take her again to be his wife, after that she is defiled; for that is abomination before the LORD: and thou shalt not cause the land to sin, which the LORD thy God giveth thee for an inheritance. Deuteronomy 24:1-4
It hath been said, Whosoever shall put away his wife, let him give her a writing of divorcement: But I say unto you, That whosoever shall put away his wife, saving for the cause of fornication, causeth her to commit adultery: and whosoever shall marry her that is divorced committeth adultery. Matthew 5:31, 32
The Pharisees also came unto him, tempting him, and saying unto him, Is it lawful for a man to put away his wife for every cause? And he answered and said unto them, Have ye not read, that he which made them at the beginning made them male and female, And said, For this cause shall a man leave father and mother, and shall cleave to his wife: and they twain shall be one flesh? Wherefore they are no more twain, but one flesh. What therefore God hath joined together, let not man put asunder. They say unto him, Why did Moses then command to give a writing of divorcement, and to put her away? He saith unto them, Moses because of the hardness of your hearts suffered you to put away your wives: but from the beginning it was not so. And I say unto you, Whosoever shall put away his wife, except it be for fornication, and shall marry another, committeth adultery: and whoso marrieth her which is put away doth commit adultery. Matthew 19:3-9
And the Pharisees came to him, and asked him, Is it lawful for a man to put away his wife? tempting him. And he answered and said unto them, What did Moses command you? And they said, Moses suffered to write a bill of divorcement, and to put her away. And Jesus answered and said unto them, For the hardness of your heart he wrote you this precept. But from the beginning of the creation God made them male and female. For this cause shall a man leave his father and mother, and cleave to his wife; And they twain shall be one flesh: so then they are no more twain, but one flesh. What therefore God hath joined together, let not man put asunder. And in the house his disciples asked him again of the same matter. And he saith unto them, Whosoever shall put away his wife, and marry another, committeth adultery against her. And if a woman shall put away her husband, and be married to another, she committeth adultery. Mark 10:2-12
Whosoever putteth away his wife, and marrieth another, committeth adultery: and whosoever marrieth her that is put away from her husband committeth adultery. Luke 16:18
What? know ye not that he which is joined to an harlot is one body? for two, saith he, shall be one flesh. 1 Corinthians 6:16
From these verses, we can see that God’s original plan was that marriage (the sexual union) is to be an exclusive and permanent union between one man and one woman, and any break-up of that union is adultery for all parties involved – the man, the woman, and future spouses.
Jesus mentioned one exception – if a spouse has already been unfaithful and is divorced because of it, the remaining spouse, who has not been unfaithful, does not commit adultery. Keep in mind that He does not say that there must be divorce in this case. Reconciliation, with genuine repentance on the part of the offender, and forgiveness by the faithful spouse are the preferred steps to take as we can see from the example of His own dealings with His “spouse.”
The Divine Marriage
Marriage is used throughout the Bible as a metaphor for God’s union with His people. He very poignantly describes His feelings for His “spouse” through the prophet Jeremiah.
The LORD said also unto me in the days of Josiah the king, Hast thou seen that which backsliding Israel hath done? she is gone up upon every high mountain and under every green tree, and there hath played the harlot. And I said after she had done all these things, Turn thou unto me. But she returned not. And her treacherous sister Judah saw it. And I saw, when for all the causes whereby backsliding Israel committed adultery I had put her away, and given her a bill of divorce; yet her treacherous sister Judah feared not, but went and played the harlot also. And it came to pass through the lightness of her whoredom, that she defiled the land, and committed adultery with stones and with stocks. And yet for all this her treacherous sister Judah hath not turned unto me with her whole heart, but feignedly, saith the LORD. And the LORD said unto me, The backsliding Israel hath justified herself more than treacherous Judah. Go and proclaim these words toward the north, and say, Return, thou backsliding Israel, saith the LORD; and I will not cause mine anger to fall upon you: for I am merciful, saith the LORD, and I will not keep anger for ever. Only acknowledge thine iniquity, that thou hast transgressed against the LORD thy God, and hast scattered thy ways to the strangers under every green tree, and ye have not obeyed my voice, saith the LORD. Turn, O backsliding children, saith the LORD; for I am married unto you: and I will take you one of a city, and two of a family, and I will bring you to Zion: Jeremiah 3:6-14
From this passage we can learn how serious God is about the permanence of marriage. Even though His people committed adultery against Him and He “divorced” them because of their hard heart and rebellious spirit (v. 8), He still wanted them back. In His mind, they were still one with Him (v. 14), and if they had repented (made the choice to turn back to Him), He would have accepted them back. What commitment and incredible forgiveness on His part! He is always faithful. He will always accept and forgive a truly repentant sinner no matter how far they have gone away from Him.
And the LORD passed by before him, and proclaimed, The LORD, The LORD God, merciful and gracious, longsuffering, and abundant in goodness and truth, Keeping mercy for thousands, forgiving iniquity and transgression and sin, and that will by no means clear the guilty; visiting the iniquity of the fathers upon the children, and upon the children’s children, unto the third and to the fourth generation. Exodus 34:6, 7
Principles of Marriage
The first four of the Ten Commandments are the principles that govern our “marriage” to Him and serve as essential principles in our human marriages, also.
1. Thou shalt have no other gods before me.
Marriage to our Heavenly Spouse:
Don’t have any spiritual “affairs.” Satan is constantly trying to seduce you away from God into an “affair.” There are plenty of “gods” around you vying for your attention. Anything that rules your life is a god – career, relatives, money, things you own, your own “wants.” When you have a decision to make and you ponder, “How will this affect (whatever)?” or “What would (whoever) think of this?” whatever or whoever you put in that blank could be your god – whatever has the most influence on your daily decisions.
Marriage to our earthly spouse:
There are various ways that the sanctity of marriage may be violated:
1) through an emotional affair with one of the opposite sex (a “platonic” relationship, a very close “friend”) where no sexual union occurs;
2) through a sexual affair (as with a prostitute) where no particular emotional attachment is formed;
3) through a total emotional and sexual union with one other than the original spouse
Any of these is breaking the marriage vow.
2. Thou shalt not make unto thee any graven image, or any likeness of any thing that is in heaven above, or that is in the earth beneath, or that is in the water under the earth: Thou shalt not bow down thyself to them, nor serve them: for I the LORD thy God am a jealous God, visiting the iniquity of the fathers upon the children unto the third and fourth generation of them that hate me; And shewing mercy unto thousands of them that love me, and keep my commandments.
Marriage to our Heavenly Spouse:
Don’t use something physical as a substitute for Jehovah, the invisible and personal God. Don’t induce or stimulate “worship” by some means other than God’s Holy Spirit.
Marriage to our earthly spouse:
Indulging in masturbation, lust, or pornography is adultery. (Leviticus 18:6-17; Matthew 5:27, 28).
3. Thou shalt not take the name of the LORD thy God in vain; for the LORD will not hold him guiltless that taketh his name in vain.
Marriage to our Heavenly Spouse:
Don’t call yourself a Christian if you don’t act like one.
Marriage to our earthly spouse:
In marriage, the wife usually takes the husband’s name. It is wrong for her to claim she is married to him (by taking his name) if she does not act like it.
4. Remember the sabbath day, to keep it holy. Six days shalt thou labour, and do all thy work: But the seventh day is the sabbath of the LORD thy God: in it thou shalt not do any work, thou, nor thy son, nor thy daughter, thy manservant, nor thy maidservant, nor thy cattle, nor thy stranger that is within thy gates: For in six days the LORD made heaven and earth, the sea, and all that in them is, and rested the seventh day: wherefore the LORD blessed the sabbath day, and hallowed it.
Marriage to our Heavenly Spouse:
Don’t miss the “date” that God has set as a special time for intimacy between Himself and His people.
Marriage to our earthly spouse:
If there is no time given to nurturing the marriage relation, both emotionally and physically, there will be estrangement. If a time is given when the spouses plan to spend time together and one of them chooses to not be there, the relationship will suffer.